9/06/2004
Dear Journal,
Hey buddy, long time no see, it’s been days
without a real and close friend, to talk to. Pretty soon, I’ll need to get a
new one, and start all over. Basically, the whole world continues to mess
itself up a lot more than ever, and the alienation towards me in the family
continues to grow as well. So yeah, really nothing much else has really
changed. My two sisters have now gone off to college, while taking care of
my first ever niece, so I guess that makes me an uncle. The only people
in the house at this point, outside of me, is my brother, who’s way too into
superheroes, and my sister, who's starting to go to Middle School, which
that’s a huge change.
As for me, since this is my last and final
entry, there’s just a lot of things that I need to work on with myself, and
start getting back to becoming the stud and bad ass, that I’d always model
myself to be. [G.B.III1] In my path to become a polymath, find me the dream girl,
that I’d want to be with, and share an intimate relationship with. One with no
alienation, isolation, or callous and uncaring, judgmental, and a relationship
with warmth, encouragement, love, and support, and equality. I also felt the
need to go back to the gym, weight-lift 3 to 4 times a week, eat a lot more
proteins, and gain more lean muscle, and start honing my skill sets, and
mastering my craft as well. Wearing Hip Hop, professional type of clothes, and
get really nice and shiny dreads, with really nice, then glasses. A complete
and total re-imaging of myself, as the one known as “Beckett “Garbo”
Baldwin”. I’d even started learning multisyllabic rhymes, internal rhymes,
word-play, & metaphors, just to make myself become even more badass, than
I’d thought I would ever be.
Why? What else. Anything to
make up not being a nobody, and just be all alone, as a complete nobody as
well. With the hopes and dreams, of becoming a muscle-bound Authorpreneur/Musicpreneur/Olympian
Athlete. Wanting to make great songs, go on tour, and become a great
celebrity figure that makes “Artist of the Year” or “Artist of the
Decade” as well.
I know this is just WPS
Writer, but in my first ever journal, this is the last entry of the
journal. I hope one day, I can buy another Garfield type of journal again, but
by then, I’ll at least be a somebody in my own type of way. Developing great
self-esteem, without needing adulation, attention, or kissing up, to make me
truly feel special. Writing into this entry of my journal, I’ll be 17 (which
this is the 29 year old self writing this), becoming a mature, responsible, very strong, and attractive male, with versatility in his skills, with multiple books
well-written, and becoming instant best sellers as well. And years and years of experience ahead of him. I don’t care if this
world doesn’t want to change for the better, that everyone else around has
become greedy, immoral, and selfish, and wants to bash and hate just about everything around them. And eff like rabbits, have a child too early, and have custody battles or just not be a part of that child's life anymore. Or constantly dealing with people who just don't want to understand me. Why? Because as painful things have been, I’m going to keep pushing forward
and keep striving and aiming with high ambition, to become the symbol of what
I’d always wanted to become. A straight up bad ass black male, who lives an
exceptional life, and always searching for ways to grow on a daily basis. Never
to conform what is considered to be “normal”.
See you around, until we meet
again someday. As for now, this will be my final word to you, before I leave,
and it’s a very meaningful and emotional one: Good-bye, my best friend and
thank you, for being with me through my adolescence years, as I’d continue to
move forward. I’ll make absolute sure, that those three dreams, are
accomplished, and that they will not go to waste. Not at all. And if there was ever a time where I'm glad I've listened to my gut and continued tabbing into the literary and film field, it would be in a dire time like this.
Signed with great thanks,
Garland Jones Bennett, III aka.
“Becket Baldwin” & “Garbo, The Polymath”
P.S.- "Stories are the equipment for living."- Robert McKee's "Story" (1997)
[G.B.III1]Trust
me, young one, the feeling is still just as strong, just as potent, and still
just as lively inside of me, like you wouldn’t even believe. And believe me,
your going to get there, and leave a huge niche in this world.
