11/03/00 & 1/13/01 ("Both when I was 12 years old")

Dear Journal, {11/03/00}

Today I get one of those "Hard days", when your locked up in the second dungeon and never came out until you knew it was a good time. But there are times, that I feel too hard on myself because of it. But that's how I release my anger, for about as long as I've known. Is just through going somewhere, picking up a great book that I immerse in. And when I get done, I'd went to fix my late work and finish the rest of my homework. 
Lately I've been having feelings towards a certain show that I liked. Without having a whole lot of reasons unto why I do. But that's when I'd started writing cursive, and my love for writing began ever since. This month is reading month, so I'm going to do a lot of reading. 
Moral: Don't make excuses to not finish your work on time. 


Dear Journal, {1/13/01}

Today and yesterday, was kinda sucky because my peers kept ignoring me, as I was writing. I think a lot of it stems from not being like all the other normal black kids and playing sports and rough-housing. Trying to be so excellent & impress my peers, and become the coolest and most popular guy in my school. I'd felt what better way to prove it, than hitting the gym to gain muscles, and playing with the other kids. This explains an awful lot of why I was the way that I was. This is helping me to explain the core issue and where a lot of insecurities came from. But over all, very goal-oriented, as I wanted to become well-known. 
Moral: It's difficult to just be yourself. 

So as I was reading through my other entries of my childhood journal, two words always came to mind: goal-oriented & accomplishments. If this doesn't sell on the idea that I was an ambitious person, even when I was at the age of 12, I don't know what else. I'll have more entries I'll write in the near future.