Thank you for still following me, and there will be some other updates coming soon about the progress during the National Novel Writing Month.
Sunday, October 30, 2016
NaNoWriMo Update
Starting this November, I'll be participating once again in National Novel Writing Month. I want to take this opportunity, to finally get around and finish the sixth manuscript of the "Celestial/Terrestrial Warriors" series. The seven-planned e-book series. And here and there, I'll copyedit any of the other previous manuscripts, that need some more work. All while still going to Full Sail University, for my Master's Degree in Creative Writing. Once that's good and done, I'll spend my Christmas vacation, editing through the sixth manuscript, and sell it out to the public once it's good and ready to go. This is a good time to go ahead and wrap up the series on the best note. Before I get back to writing & editing for the "Saintly/Angelic Warriors" series. I plan on using Scrivener, Ulysses, and Shaxpir, in order to write through the manuscript, with descriptions of scenes, and notes from the Novelist himself.
Thank you for still following me, and there will be some other updates coming soon about the progress during the National Novel Writing Month.
Thank you for still following me, and there will be some other updates coming soon about the progress during the National Novel Writing Month.
Sunday, September 25, 2016
Childhood Journal Entries 7/23/02 & 8/19/02
These are two new childhood entries, that I've written. It's been months since I'd posted some new ones, but due to the situation going on in the world today, I'd figured writing more of this, would be good for the soul. Just reading through my childhood entries, would help me stay focused, and not lose so far behind.
Hopefully you enjoy.
P.S.- If you can be able to not judge these entries as such, that would be great. At the time, during Middle School, I was trying to find my identity. These passages are a nice reminder, of how I was trying to find them. If I don't list the name of the person to whom I'm referring to. It's mainly because I don't want to compromise their name.
7/23/02
Dear Journal,
It's me again. Yeah, but obviously I'm just ticked off, at this person to whom I treat as a rival. Why? Because he's so cool, skilled, and popular is why. Everything I challenge him at, whether it be Video Games, Yu-Gi-Oh, Freestyling, Wrestling, or dance offs, he would not only defeat me but humiliate me as well. Making me feel as though, I can't measure to him in any particular way. The more he beat me in those fields, the more humiliated, angry, and outraged I'd feel, because of how much he would rub it in my face. I find him to be a jerk for that, but because he has charisma, so many people like him. Thus why he's so popular.
Because of this, I would train outside, practicing and trying to master all of the fields that I can think of: dancing, drawing, singing, freestyling, Yu-Gi-Oh (Strategizing), reflexes in my hand-eye coordination, & learn Wrestling moves. All throughout the summer, I've been doing those. Wanting to be excellent in all of them. So that I can get a lot of attention, and feel important as well. Losing to him, was no longer an option for me. I'd felt as though, that I had to get up to par with him, in all of those areas. So that I can be really good, just like him. I'll write to you another time, but until then, I'm going to keep training & practicing. So that I can be cool too.
8/19/02
Dear Journal,
Hello once again. I've just spent a month and a few days. I'm still training & this is my 8th-grade year now. But because of this, I've been under a lot of extreme pressure. According to just about every boy and girl...you know what? Forget it. What's the use, the real revelation of all of this, is that no matter how hard I try and train as hard as I could, I'm not as good-looking, as skilled, and as amazing as the cool and popular guys. Just left of the totem pole. What's worse, is that I've gotten ignored, neglected, and given the constant silent treatment from just about everyone else. Because I'm not as cool, or as amazing, or as popular, as the rest of the cool kids.
I've should've known, that there was no way that I could've gotten a girlfriend, because as far as I'm concerned, I'm way out of the league of the supernatural beauty type. The more that I think about it, the more I resent myself, for not being able to be just like the beautiful people as well.
So those are my two childhood entries. If you can already tell, I wasn't...sigh...the most self-confident person. Often times, I'd wish I'd stopped beating myself up so much. But nevertheless, that's what I was like back in Middle School. It somewhat changed in High School, but not until later on.
Hopefully you enjoy.
P.S.- If you can be able to not judge these entries as such, that would be great. At the time, during Middle School, I was trying to find my identity. These passages are a nice reminder, of how I was trying to find them. If I don't list the name of the person to whom I'm referring to. It's mainly because I don't want to compromise their name.
7/23/02
Dear Journal,
It's me again. Yeah, but obviously I'm just ticked off, at this person to whom I treat as a rival. Why? Because he's so cool, skilled, and popular is why. Everything I challenge him at, whether it be Video Games, Yu-Gi-Oh, Freestyling, Wrestling, or dance offs, he would not only defeat me but humiliate me as well. Making me feel as though, I can't measure to him in any particular way. The more he beat me in those fields, the more humiliated, angry, and outraged I'd feel, because of how much he would rub it in my face. I find him to be a jerk for that, but because he has charisma, so many people like him. Thus why he's so popular.
Because of this, I would train outside, practicing and trying to master all of the fields that I can think of: dancing, drawing, singing, freestyling, Yu-Gi-Oh (Strategizing), reflexes in my hand-eye coordination, & learn Wrestling moves. All throughout the summer, I've been doing those. Wanting to be excellent in all of them. So that I can get a lot of attention, and feel important as well. Losing to him, was no longer an option for me. I'd felt as though, that I had to get up to par with him, in all of those areas. So that I can be really good, just like him. I'll write to you another time, but until then, I'm going to keep training & practicing. So that I can be cool too.
8/19/02
Dear Journal,
Hello once again. I've just spent a month and a few days. I'm still training & this is my 8th-grade year now. But because of this, I've been under a lot of extreme pressure. According to just about every boy and girl...you know what? Forget it. What's the use, the real revelation of all of this, is that no matter how hard I try and train as hard as I could, I'm not as good-looking, as skilled, and as amazing as the cool and popular guys. Just left of the totem pole. What's worse, is that I've gotten ignored, neglected, and given the constant silent treatment from just about everyone else. Because I'm not as cool, or as amazing, or as popular, as the rest of the cool kids.
I've should've known, that there was no way that I could've gotten a girlfriend, because as far as I'm concerned, I'm way out of the league of the supernatural beauty type. The more that I think about it, the more I resent myself, for not being able to be just like the beautiful people as well.
So those are my two childhood entries. If you can already tell, I wasn't...sigh...the most self-confident person. Often times, I'd wish I'd stopped beating myself up so much. But nevertheless, that's what I was like back in Middle School. It somewhat changed in High School, but not until later on.
Saturday, June 18, 2016
Camp NaNoWriMo & November NaNoWriMo
I won't be writing a very, very long statement or update with this. I'm just going to get to the point, so that'll way I'll prepare for the upcoming events that're stated up in the headline. As of right now, due to one of my blog post showing some interest in having the e-book series, I'll be focusing on finishing the sixth manuscript of the "Celestial Terrestrial Warriors" series, throughout the whole entire year. So I'll be using the time with "National Novel Writing Month", to write & edit through the whole entire manuscript. Making sure it's as polished and as amazing as I can make it to be. And I'll also be focusing on going to grad school, to get my advanced degree at Full Sail University. With that, that is all.
Also, I'll be more active on Twitter, Stage32, & ScreenCraft, using WriterDuet & Celtx more often.
Also, I'll be more active on Twitter, Stage32, & ScreenCraft, using WriterDuet & Celtx more often.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
A fine line between growing up vs. having fun...
Today, there won't be no childhood entries. Just talking about life experiences, just to put it best. It won't be too long, because I'm not in the "Storytelling" mood. At least, not for something too long. So here we go.
For some weird reason, the millennials, think that we need to always have fun. And to a certain degree, I do agree. Fun is entertainment, recreation, and amusing no less. But my argument to that is, that, if we're always having fun, there there is no productivity. Because having too much fun, also encourages laziness and not living up to your life's purpose. It even encourages Sloth, which is one of the 7 deadly sins, because your not living up to all of the gifts that you have, and that's a big no-no. I guess to me, when your always having fun, being overzealous, loud, rude, and obnoxious, your just being inconsiderate & insensitive to other's feelings, because your being too pre-occupied in your own self, to see the damage that your doing to others.
Every since I was a child and a teenager, I've been goal-oriented. To me, having fun, is living up to and maximizing your potential, to see how far you can achieve and gain inner satisfaction and glory from it. Friendly competition was fun to me, but even I'm fully aware, that there will come a time, when I reach a certain age, where I need to work on my career, and offer productivity, for excellent products and services for people to enjoy. For me, it came in the forms of e-books, graphic design, and digital music for products, while services were graphic design, coaching, and potentially being a fitness trainer. And even became a entrepreneur in the process. Dedicating and committing my time to leaving behind excellent products with satisfaction from those who seek it from me. So because I'm an adult now, satisfaction is what I seek. Not trying to have fun, like I'm a child again. Because even through childhood, I've never displayed such traits, that were the same as the other kids. And I can tell you that now, that won't change neither.
Just wanna give my entry for the day about it.
For some weird reason, the millennials, think that we need to always have fun. And to a certain degree, I do agree. Fun is entertainment, recreation, and amusing no less. But my argument to that is, that, if we're always having fun, there there is no productivity. Because having too much fun, also encourages laziness and not living up to your life's purpose. It even encourages Sloth, which is one of the 7 deadly sins, because your not living up to all of the gifts that you have, and that's a big no-no. I guess to me, when your always having fun, being overzealous, loud, rude, and obnoxious, your just being inconsiderate & insensitive to other's feelings, because your being too pre-occupied in your own self, to see the damage that your doing to others.
Every since I was a child and a teenager, I've been goal-oriented. To me, having fun, is living up to and maximizing your potential, to see how far you can achieve and gain inner satisfaction and glory from it. Friendly competition was fun to me, but even I'm fully aware, that there will come a time, when I reach a certain age, where I need to work on my career, and offer productivity, for excellent products and services for people to enjoy. For me, it came in the forms of e-books, graphic design, and digital music for products, while services were graphic design, coaching, and potentially being a fitness trainer. And even became a entrepreneur in the process. Dedicating and committing my time to leaving behind excellent products with satisfaction from those who seek it from me. So because I'm an adult now, satisfaction is what I seek. Not trying to have fun, like I'm a child again. Because even through childhood, I've never displayed such traits, that were the same as the other kids. And I can tell you that now, that won't change neither.
Just wanna give my entry for the day about it.
Saturday, June 11, 2016
Two more Childhood entries + Schedule
02/20/2001
Dear Journal,
I'm feeling like an idiot or a fool today, I need to find a place, where it acts as my sanctuary, where I need to get things together, & reviewing all the things I need to do. The only place is the living room, it's my favorite place to go. I just have to face the truth, every time I'd try to get an accomplishment, I' wound up getting stagnant. I need to be careful in life, so it won't be living in an nightmare forever. So maybe, I would listen to my gut & set things so, so that I'm prepared
From now on, until then, I'm going to follow my goals a lot more more, & make accomplishments based off of them, in my day planner. Just watch "Simpsons" & "Discovery Channel", let's also not forget "BET".
03/01/2001
Dear Journal,
Hey, how's everything going? Well everything is going quite well and amazing. I'm doing task back and forth to complete my life goal: To become the most versatile person, & make more friends. Almost got straight A's.
[Alternate Free-Time Plans]
1 hour & 30 minutes of reading & studying research.
4 hours & 30 minutes of editing & writing story
15 minutes of relax time & drawing.
Things to bring:
Dear Journal,
I'm feeling like an idiot or a fool today, I need to find a place, where it acts as my sanctuary, where I need to get things together, & reviewing all the things I need to do. The only place is the living room, it's my favorite place to go. I just have to face the truth, every time I'd try to get an accomplishment, I' wound up getting stagnant. I need to be careful in life, so it won't be living in an nightmare forever. So maybe, I would listen to my gut & set things so, so that I'm prepared
From now on, until then, I'm going to follow my goals a lot more more, & make accomplishments based off of them, in my day planner. Just watch "Simpsons" & "Discovery Channel", let's also not forget "BET".
03/01/2001
Dear Journal,
Hey, how's everything going? Well everything is going quite well and amazing. I'm doing task back and forth to complete my life goal: To become the most versatile person, & make more friends. Almost got straight A's.
[Alternate Free-Time Plans]
1 hour & 30 minutes of reading & studying research.
4 hours & 30 minutes of editing & writing story
15 minutes of relax time & drawing.
Things to bring:
- Re-edit notebook
- A book [to study & research]
- A game-boy Adv. w/ a game
- Writing utensils
- MP3 or iPod Touch
6:00 p.m. Hangout at Bookstore (to get ideas)
Friday, June 10, 2016
More Childhood Journal Entries...
1/13/2001
Dear Journal,
Today & yesterday, were really suck-y days. My peers were ignoring me, and most of the time, I'd had to sit alone. This stinks. But I'm still going to stick to my goals, no matter what. Gonna go hit the gym, practice drawing & writing cursive.
2/07/2001-2/09/2001
Dear Journal,
Still staying just as goal-oriented, as ambitious, & as versatile as ever. Practicing writing & drawing more. But now, I'm starting to learn some dance moves, so that I can get into Show Choir. My two oldest siblings, were introducing me to this Black Entertainment Television, named "BET" & "MTV". From there, I'd also started practicing at free-styling, utilizing rhymes back and forth. Whelp, that's all I've got for now.
Whelp, those are the only two that I've got. But this right here, is what made me also want to become a musician, but this time around, it's more around a Musicpreneur. And for anybody who doesn't believe that word exist, here's the definition of it.
Musicpreneur: An independent, polymath musician who takes care of both their artistic and entrepreneurial aspect of their music career, creating business models and revenue streams.
Dear Journal,
Today & yesterday, were really suck-y days. My peers were ignoring me, and most of the time, I'd had to sit alone. This stinks. But I'm still going to stick to my goals, no matter what. Gonna go hit the gym, practice drawing & writing cursive.
2/07/2001-2/09/2001
Dear Journal,
Still staying just as goal-oriented, as ambitious, & as versatile as ever. Practicing writing & drawing more. But now, I'm starting to learn some dance moves, so that I can get into Show Choir. My two oldest siblings, were introducing me to this Black Entertainment Television, named "BET" & "MTV". From there, I'd also started practicing at free-styling, utilizing rhymes back and forth. Whelp, that's all I've got for now.
Whelp, those are the only two that I've got. But this right here, is what made me also want to become a musician, but this time around, it's more around a Musicpreneur. And for anybody who doesn't believe that word exist, here's the definition of it.
Musicpreneur: An independent, polymath musician who takes care of both their artistic and entrepreneurial aspect of their music career, creating business models and revenue streams.
Sunday, June 5, 2016
More Childhood entries; more of when I was 12 years old...
11/17/2000
Dear Journal,
Sunday went well, but something else has changed, along with it. My grades are straight A's and A-'s, so my iceberg punishment, has been lifted, since I'm close to making it to honor roll. This was much more challenging than it was in the fifth grade, but I know it's still doable. Well, the last two days are starting to melt off with the punishment, So if there was any lesson that I've learned from any of this, is that don't watch too much T.V., and just only stay on task with only just the day. Just gotta stay silent, and focus on getting straight A's and B's, and exercising, so that I can win the President's Award, for fitness.
Moral of the day: Stay silent & always stay on the task at hand.
11/24/00
Dear Journal,
Today, is a really sad day, but some good came out of all of it. My close friend, is in the emergency room, and I can't keep my mind off of it. His name was Keenan. I'll be praying for him. The only good that I've gotten out of this day, was this certain show that I'd just now started watching, named "Yu Yu Hakusho", which was the first Japanese Animation show, I've watched. And it felt so relatable too. Anyways, I'm going back to write some new goals, to add to my other one's, that needed to be completed.
So as anybody can see, I was still a very goal-oriented person, even with the passing of one of my close friends.
Dear Journal,
Sunday went well, but something else has changed, along with it. My grades are straight A's and A-'s, so my iceberg punishment, has been lifted, since I'm close to making it to honor roll. This was much more challenging than it was in the fifth grade, but I know it's still doable. Well, the last two days are starting to melt off with the punishment, So if there was any lesson that I've learned from any of this, is that don't watch too much T.V., and just only stay on task with only just the day. Just gotta stay silent, and focus on getting straight A's and B's, and exercising, so that I can win the President's Award, for fitness.
Moral of the day: Stay silent & always stay on the task at hand.
11/24/00
Dear Journal,
Today, is a really sad day, but some good came out of all of it. My close friend, is in the emergency room, and I can't keep my mind off of it. His name was Keenan. I'll be praying for him. The only good that I've gotten out of this day, was this certain show that I'd just now started watching, named "Yu Yu Hakusho", which was the first Japanese Animation show, I've watched. And it felt so relatable too. Anyways, I'm going back to write some new goals, to add to my other one's, that needed to be completed.
So as anybody can see, I was still a very goal-oriented person, even with the passing of one of my close friends.
Friday, May 20, 2016
Another two journal entries...The continued journey through ambition...
07/28/01 (Updated: 05/20/2016)
Dear Journal,
Hello old friend. How have you've been? Have you'd ever felt like you couldn't connect with your brother or dad? That they leave you out and isolate you, because your not what they call a definition of what it means to be a guy? And I'm talking being loud, boisterous, too lively, too animated? And because you don't talk about robots or nothing to do with emotions, your considered a girly man, and are expected to be ridiculed time and time again? Well I do. Every time they'd get together, I'm considered the wussy or pansy, because I like to be cool, calm, collected, and level-headed. And not have a big-headed, highly opinionated aspect of myself, to the point where I can speak down on my own sibling, like I'm all that and a bag of chips.
As if he can even brag at all, and they have any form of credibility. At least I had numerous friends and close friends, a girlfriend to whom I'm lucky to have, made it to championships by myself or with a team, and won a gold medal or silver medal. Even with running, which is not one of my favorite sports, I've made All-American, Division I for X-Country and Track and Fields, and has had an amazing journey with my teammates, who became long terms friends. I have numerous books & e-books, all written underneath my pen name. Even made Outstanding Writers Award, many times. And even still, have proven many times, that while I may not be the best athlete in the world, at least I can compete with some of the best! I even made it to the Youth Soccer Championship, about four times, which should show how much of a great athlete I'd aimed to be! And since I'm at my peak, I can literally train, to become an Olympic Athlete for both 2020 and 2024. And go to the Olympics, to compete against the best. And while maybe someone might beat my record, at least I'd know I'd made it this far! Jealousy! That's all that this is, at the end of the day. It's freaking pathetic, and I shouldn't have to be looked down upon, for it. Making false assumptions about me, that aren't even true. Making it sound like I have no goals, that I stay in my room, pout & do nothing. That couldn't any further from the truth. In fact, I still happen to put in work, everyday. For over 20 years, I've stayed dedicated, committed, and determined in improving my penmanship, exercising, keeping myself in shape, training to stay in the best shape of fitness, and improving in other areas of my life. The last thing I'd be doing, is pouting and doing nothing! Anyways, that's all I wanted to vented on, for this one.
Signed,
Beckett "Garbo" Baldwin
1/4/02
Dear Journal,
What's up old friend? Me...nothing much, just relaxing, or chillin as they like to call it. I think I've found, through the months of just staying busy and goal-oriented, the true strength within me, if I believe that only will better myself, but also not care, what the haters have to say about me. It's been months, since I've tried to find my inner strength, to stay as dedicated & committed to my goals. I'd realized that if they want to continue hat'n, then they can continue to keep hat'n, because I'm still going to do what I feel like is necessary, to accomplish my goals, and leave behind my mark in this world, for others to feel inspired by. Now,through all of that, I'd realized what it takes to believe in myself, I still feel that there are a lot of things, that I still need to accomplish, and leave that mark in the world as well. Anyways, that's all I have to say, but then hey, it's the thought that counts right? Until then, see you later.
Signed,
G.B.III.
Dear Journal,
Hello old friend. How have you've been? Have you'd ever felt like you couldn't connect with your brother or dad? That they leave you out and isolate you, because your not what they call a definition of what it means to be a guy? And I'm talking being loud, boisterous, too lively, too animated? And because you don't talk about robots or nothing to do with emotions, your considered a girly man, and are expected to be ridiculed time and time again? Well I do. Every time they'd get together, I'm considered the wussy or pansy, because I like to be cool, calm, collected, and level-headed. And not have a big-headed, highly opinionated aspect of myself, to the point where I can speak down on my own sibling, like I'm all that and a bag of chips.
As if he can even brag at all, and they have any form of credibility. At least I had numerous friends and close friends, a girlfriend to whom I'm lucky to have, made it to championships by myself or with a team, and won a gold medal or silver medal. Even with running, which is not one of my favorite sports, I've made All-American, Division I for X-Country and Track and Fields, and has had an amazing journey with my teammates, who became long terms friends. I have numerous books & e-books, all written underneath my pen name. Even made Outstanding Writers Award, many times. And even still, have proven many times, that while I may not be the best athlete in the world, at least I can compete with some of the best! I even made it to the Youth Soccer Championship, about four times, which should show how much of a great athlete I'd aimed to be! And since I'm at my peak, I can literally train, to become an Olympic Athlete for both 2020 and 2024. And go to the Olympics, to compete against the best. And while maybe someone might beat my record, at least I'd know I'd made it this far! Jealousy! That's all that this is, at the end of the day. It's freaking pathetic, and I shouldn't have to be looked down upon, for it. Making false assumptions about me, that aren't even true. Making it sound like I have no goals, that I stay in my room, pout & do nothing. That couldn't any further from the truth. In fact, I still happen to put in work, everyday. For over 20 years, I've stayed dedicated, committed, and determined in improving my penmanship, exercising, keeping myself in shape, training to stay in the best shape of fitness, and improving in other areas of my life. The last thing I'd be doing, is pouting and doing nothing! Anyways, that's all I wanted to vented on, for this one.
Signed,
Beckett "Garbo" Baldwin
1/4/02
Dear Journal,
What's up old friend? Me...nothing much, just relaxing, or chillin as they like to call it. I think I've found, through the months of just staying busy and goal-oriented, the true strength within me, if I believe that only will better myself, but also not care, what the haters have to say about me. It's been months, since I've tried to find my inner strength, to stay as dedicated & committed to my goals. I'd realized that if they want to continue hat'n, then they can continue to keep hat'n, because I'm still going to do what I feel like is necessary, to accomplish my goals, and leave behind my mark in this world, for others to feel inspired by. Now,through all of that, I'd realized what it takes to believe in myself, I still feel that there are a lot of things, that I still need to accomplish, and leave that mark in the world as well. Anyways, that's all I have to say, but then hey, it's the thought that counts right? Until then, see you later.
Signed,
G.B.III.
Saturday, May 7, 2016
Being Human...
Today, I'd felt like sharing something that's personal to me. Something to remind me, that I'm human & I'm different from others. So I won't spend too much diving into it, so I'll just go ahead and get to it. I love the sound of Showers & Thundershowers, but I absolutely fear/hate Thunderstorms! Especially the Heavy Thunderstorms, that make those super crackling sound as well, and produces hail & tornadoes. When one happens, my highest priority is to stay away from a window immediately, so that the flashes doesn't make it worse. Because of this, I've called a sissy, a wuss, and girly-man, because of being afraid of something, that can kill me...if I were outside. And to me, it goes to show what they know about me.
I'm born with sensitive hearing. Therefore, noises are amplified with me more than the normal person, and my heart jumps 10x faster than normal people. So because of it, I'm a light sleeper, and I pick up hearing things even while I sleep very clearly. And again, if this makes me such a girly-man, a wuss, and a total pansy for admitting that they do tend to scare me, even when my body picks up on this, then by means, go right ahead. At this point, I don't care anymore, because I'm willing to admit that I have a fear that I still battle to this day. And while I do admit, that it's not as extreme as a phobia, where I'm having uncontrollable, irrational fear and losing my mind, literally, it's still one of those, I have to listen to music to help me soothe through the storm. So that it doesn't send me into a comatose state, because of the big loud noise, that tears through my eardrum. I know there are plenty of those, who find it amazing and bash those who aren't the same, but that doesn't promote empathy of any kind.
As far as I'm concerned, this is probably something that I know won't fully go away. But at least, if I can make sure that I always stay calm in these situations and never go it paranoia, then I'll still consider it self-improvement. Just felt like sharing it, because blogs really do act a wonderful journal.
Sincerely,
Beckett Baldwin
P.S.-No, I don't need psychiatric help, for something that's not an extreme problem, and already found a way to keep calm. Because being calm in these situations, always is the most important to me, over everything else.
I'm born with sensitive hearing. Therefore, noises are amplified with me more than the normal person, and my heart jumps 10x faster than normal people. So because of it, I'm a light sleeper, and I pick up hearing things even while I sleep very clearly. And again, if this makes me such a girly-man, a wuss, and a total pansy for admitting that they do tend to scare me, even when my body picks up on this, then by means, go right ahead. At this point, I don't care anymore, because I'm willing to admit that I have a fear that I still battle to this day. And while I do admit, that it's not as extreme as a phobia, where I'm having uncontrollable, irrational fear and losing my mind, literally, it's still one of those, I have to listen to music to help me soothe through the storm. So that it doesn't send me into a comatose state, because of the big loud noise, that tears through my eardrum. I know there are plenty of those, who find it amazing and bash those who aren't the same, but that doesn't promote empathy of any kind.
As far as I'm concerned, this is probably something that I know won't fully go away. But at least, if I can make sure that I always stay calm in these situations and never go it paranoia, then I'll still consider it self-improvement. Just felt like sharing it, because blogs really do act a wonderful journal.
Sincerely,
Beckett Baldwin
P.S.-No, I don't need psychiatric help, for something that's not an extreme problem, and already found a way to keep calm. Because being calm in these situations, always is the most important to me, over everything else.
Friday, April 29, 2016
Two Childhood Journal Entries; Proof of becoming a man...
6/06/01
Dear Journal,
Hello, I know it's been a long while, since I've written to you. But I'd just wanted to write to you, saying that starting tomorrow, will be the beginning of what would be the end of my childhood. To say, goodbye 12 years of young life, and hello age 13: The progression to becoming a great man. It's a few journey that I have never embarked on, but now will be something that'll be measured by my achievements, and character. I still must follow my goals, but now I have a new goal to add, and that's to be as Outstanding & Remarkable, to the point, where I would become a legend. Just like Baki Hanma from "Grappler Baki", who trains really hard to become the very best. I just hope that I don't become the meanest brother ever, to other boys who one day will look up to me. For this reason alone, I ask the strength from God, to become that Outstanding person.
06/11/01
Dear Journal,
Hello there old friend. Guess what's different about me? Four days ago, I became 13! That means I'm a teenager & I'm working super hard on my goals, a whole more than ever! So far, I've gotten some of my goals together, and I've started hitting the gym more, running more, and staying in total shape, just to start things off! For my birthday, I'd got the "Your Daydreams & Doodles" by Laura Dower & Pablo Torrecilla, to help me map out what kind of dreams in life do I want to accomplish! My childhood daydreams would be having future successes, and being the CEO(Chief Executive Officer) of my own company/studio "Celestial Graphics", but haven't come up with my studio name yet. Being an inspiration to others. Before I go journal, I'd just thought I'd write to you, what are the dreams in life I have: Become a Outstanding Author of two masterpieces, become a Outstanding Singer/Songwriter & own my own Music Studio, and finally to become a Outstanding Artist, and be a father to my own family. One built on warmth, understanding, encouragement, support, and most importantly...love. Take care old friend. I've got more goals to accomplish.
Let me know what you guys think of my entries. Me, personally, their very precious to me, because this is what my childhood self, from 15 years ago, used to think. And how I can't let myself down still. Personal Branding=True Legacy.
www.Linkedin.com/in/beckettgar
Dear Journal,
Hello, I know it's been a long while, since I've written to you. But I'd just wanted to write to you, saying that starting tomorrow, will be the beginning of what would be the end of my childhood. To say, goodbye 12 years of young life, and hello age 13: The progression to becoming a great man. It's a few journey that I have never embarked on, but now will be something that'll be measured by my achievements, and character. I still must follow my goals, but now I have a new goal to add, and that's to be as Outstanding & Remarkable, to the point, where I would become a legend. Just like Baki Hanma from "Grappler Baki", who trains really hard to become the very best. I just hope that I don't become the meanest brother ever, to other boys who one day will look up to me. For this reason alone, I ask the strength from God, to become that Outstanding person.
06/11/01
Dear Journal,
Hello there old friend. Guess what's different about me? Four days ago, I became 13! That means I'm a teenager & I'm working super hard on my goals, a whole more than ever! So far, I've gotten some of my goals together, and I've started hitting the gym more, running more, and staying in total shape, just to start things off! For my birthday, I'd got the "Your Daydreams & Doodles" by Laura Dower & Pablo Torrecilla, to help me map out what kind of dreams in life do I want to accomplish! My childhood daydreams would be having future successes, and being the CEO(Chief Executive Officer) of my own company/studio "Celestial Graphics", but haven't come up with my studio name yet. Being an inspiration to others. Before I go journal, I'd just thought I'd write to you, what are the dreams in life I have: Become a Outstanding Author of two masterpieces, become a Outstanding Singer/Songwriter & own my own Music Studio, and finally to become a Outstanding Artist, and be a father to my own family. One built on warmth, understanding, encouragement, support, and most importantly...love. Take care old friend. I've got more goals to accomplish.
Let me know what you guys think of my entries. Me, personally, their very precious to me, because this is what my childhood self, from 15 years ago, used to think. And how I can't let myself down still. Personal Branding=True Legacy.
www.Linkedin.com/in/beckettgar
Saturday, April 16, 2016
11/03/00 & 1/13/01 ("Both when I was 12 years old")
Dear Journal, {11/03/00}
Today I get one of those "Hard days", when your locked up in the second dungeon and never came out until you knew it was a good time. But there are times, that I feel too hard on myself because of it. But that's how I release my anger, for about as long as I've known. Is just through going somewhere, picking up a great book that I immerse in. And when I get done, I'd went to fix my late work and finish the rest of my homework.
Lately I've been having feelings towards a certain show that I liked. Without having a whole lot of reasons unto why I do. But that's when I'd started writing cursive, and my love for writing began ever since. This month is reading month, so I'm going to do a lot of reading.
Moral: Don't make excuses to not finish your work on time.
Dear Journal, {1/13/01}
Today and yesterday, was kinda sucky because my peers kept ignoring me, as I was writing. I think a lot of it stems from not being like all the other normal black kids and playing sports and rough-housing. Trying to be so excellent & impress my peers, and become the coolest and most popular guy in my school. I'd felt what better way to prove it, than hitting the gym to gain muscles, and playing with the other kids. This explains an awful lot of why I was the way that I was. This is helping me to explain the core issue and where a lot of insecurities came from. But over all, very goal-oriented, as I wanted to become well-known.
Moral: It's difficult to just be yourself.
So as I was reading through my other entries of my childhood journal, two words always came to mind: goal-oriented & accomplishments. If this doesn't sell on the idea that I was an ambitious person, even when I was at the age of 12, I don't know what else. I'll have more entries I'll write in the near future.
Today I get one of those "Hard days", when your locked up in the second dungeon and never came out until you knew it was a good time. But there are times, that I feel too hard on myself because of it. But that's how I release my anger, for about as long as I've known. Is just through going somewhere, picking up a great book that I immerse in. And when I get done, I'd went to fix my late work and finish the rest of my homework.
Lately I've been having feelings towards a certain show that I liked. Without having a whole lot of reasons unto why I do. But that's when I'd started writing cursive, and my love for writing began ever since. This month is reading month, so I'm going to do a lot of reading.
Moral: Don't make excuses to not finish your work on time.
Dear Journal, {1/13/01}
Today and yesterday, was kinda sucky because my peers kept ignoring me, as I was writing. I think a lot of it stems from not being like all the other normal black kids and playing sports and rough-housing. Trying to be so excellent & impress my peers, and become the coolest and most popular guy in my school. I'd felt what better way to prove it, than hitting the gym to gain muscles, and playing with the other kids. This explains an awful lot of why I was the way that I was. This is helping me to explain the core issue and where a lot of insecurities came from. But over all, very goal-oriented, as I wanted to become well-known.
Moral: It's difficult to just be yourself.
So as I was reading through my other entries of my childhood journal, two words always came to mind: goal-oriented & accomplishments. If this doesn't sell on the idea that I was an ambitious person, even when I was at the age of 12, I don't know what else. I'll have more entries I'll write in the near future.
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